Yesterday evening, during a nap, I had my longest lucid dreaming experience ever. I even woke up at least twice and was able to go back to sleep inside the same lucid dream. When that's happening, you're doing more than thinking, so it was only after the experience (and then after the elation of it) that I could go back in my mind and really think about the process and analyze the what and how - forget the why.

In a lucid dream I had a long time ago, I had to fight for any control of the dream. I mean really struggle. When I woke up, I had the feeling I had been fighting a separate mind for control. More than a just a separate mind, a conscious one! I had never had quite so much trouble controlling a dream. Not that it's ever been easy for me, but then, I don't think I had ever tried to bring someone into a dream as I had that time.

I didn't know what to think of it. It had actually felt like something was purposefully acting against me. I almost began to reconsider the divine, if you know what I mean. But yesterday's experience granted me new insights.

With more time and interaction within the lucid dream, I was able to put some thought together "on the fly" - and I did plenty of flying. The subconscious mind is what puts together your dreams. We all know that, but did you ever consider that the subconscious might have an attitude? Maybe it doesn't. But who knows? I'll come back to this point in a minute.

I've looked up all sorts of information on the subconscious mind relating to dreams and the subconscious in general. Too much is unknown, which leads far too many people to simply slap a religious label on it and call it quits. Well that's not good enough for me. When I'm reading an article on dreams and any "spiritualism" is mentioned, I know there's no point to continue reading. I move on. I learn to draw my own consclusions based on my own experiences. I think that's what everyone should do because it's the most reliable kind of research when it comes to dreaming.

About the "attitude" of my subconscious in my dream, it truly seemed like the longer I was lucid and exerting my will, to what extent I could, the more aggravated my subconscious became. I'm being serious! I thought about it this way: the subconscious mind is responsible for dreaming. It's used to being in control with no interference - dream all you want, just don't get involved, stay out of the way, sit back and enjoy the ride - and it was like my lucidity and control were seen as an intrusion. How dare I move in on its exclusive territory!

Subtle obstacles began impeding me. For example, I climbed on top of a high arch of a building. I meant to fly out into the night, something I do often in lucid dreams, but then a pronounced fear of heights and death stopped me. No matter how I told myself that I was dreaming and could do this, I couldn't. As much as I knew it was possible, it was impossible. I was at an impasse and forced to climb down.

Then, characters (not controlled by me) were inserted to try to steer me away from what I wanted to do. It was quite obvious too. An example of this: I chose to be a vampire in the dream. I didn't associate myself with a coven or sire or anything from any fiction in the real world. I was free-lance. :) But who had to show up and ruin my fun? Lucien LaCroix from Forever Knight, a figure my subconscious believed I should revere were I really a vampire. And I was in trouble too. Nicholai was missing and it was my fault. I had gone off on my own to do my own thing and now his precious Nicholai was in danger. I was to go out and find him immediately.

Clever. My subconscious tried to use my vampire persona to draw me back into a story it was in control of.

I believe the next step for me is to try to make a truce with my subconscious when it comes to dreaming. Maybe I could be given a passport. Maybe we could draw up a treaty, come up with some agreement that states that if I'm able to become lucid, I should have the right to direct the dream. Negotiating with myself as a separate individual, what a way to do things! Might not be as crazy as it sounds though. Definitely worth it if it furthers my lucid dreaming experiences.

Speaking of furthering lucid dreaming experiences, I've come back from the field with some tips that might be helpful to you. To help keep your lucidity from slipping away, you might try focusing on a pattern nearby. I looked at the flower print wallpaper in one house to refocus myself; I also counted some ceiling tiles in a bathroom. If you find a mirror, look at yourself as you alter your appearance (what I like to call "fun with fangs"). My lucidity begins to fade if I'm in darkness for too long. Run for any light. Talk to yourself, press your fingers into solid objects, alter things with your mind as you pass them, just do anything you can think of that will remind yourself you're in a dream and do them often. Every now and then, stop to appreciate all the detail your subconscious lays out for you. Good luck!

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